‘We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.’ Winston Churchill

Back to School is great initiative, which inspires cooperation between schools and organisations and helps to connect schools with people who wish to contribute to education.

I have delivered various classes at different schools all over Estonia. Today I delivered a virtual class to students of Kohila Mõisakool about the importance and skills of collaboration. In my work as a team coach and supervisor, collaboration is something we often focus on with executives and teams in coaching as well.

What are the topics that inspire you? Schools are happy to collaborate with people from different fields of life who share their skills, knowledge and experience that help students learn something useful for their future.

Some of my previous experiences from schools:

Virtual class at Salme Põhikool

1. klassiga lahkusest ja koostööst

Juhtimiskonverentsil ‘Coaching 2021. PÖÖRDEPUNKT’ tutvustan coachingu supervisiooni. Keskendun konverentsil sellistele küsimustele nagu:

• miks kasvab coachide ja coachingu tellijate seas vajadus coachingu supervisiooni järgi;
• miks käivad ka kogenud coachid supervisioonis;
• mida peaksid coachingu tellijad teadma coachingu supervisioonist;
• milliseid eetilisi dilemmasid coachid kõige sagedamini coachingu supervisiooni toovad;
• milliseid varjatud dünaamikaid coachid võivad coachingu supervisioonis avastada.

Äripäeva juhtimiskonverentsile ‘Coaching 2021. PÖÖRDEPUNKT’ saad registreeruda siin.

Coachingu supervisiooni kohta saad lugeda lähemalt ka siit.

This video is in Estonian.

Lyubomirsky, Sheldon et al. (2005) suggested that there is considerable potential for people to take action to influence their own happiness. If happiness is not fully determined by a person’s genetics and circumstances, then there must be something left over for intentional behavior. The Sustainable Happiness Model distinguished among 3 kinds of influences: inherent genetic predispositions, current life circumstances, and current intentional activities.

According to the study, 50% of our happiness is effected by genes and only about 10% by life circumstances (accidents, winning a lottery etc).  The rest 40% is effected by our actions, intentions and habits and unlike the other two parts, that part is under our control.

This more recent research affirms that people can affect their own happiness, via their deliberate efforts. However, these effects tend to be smaller than they initially believed.

Source: http://sonjalyubomirsky.com/files/2019/11/Sheldon-Lyubomirsky-2019.pdf

Character strengths reflect who you are at your core. They are different than your other personal strengths, such as your unique skills, talents, interests and resources. Every individual possesses all 24 character strengths in different degrees, giving each person a unique character strengths profile.

There are 6 classes of virtues that are made up of 24 character strengths:

1. Wisdom and Knowledge
2. Courage
3. Humanity
4. Justice
5. Temperance
6. Transcendence

It has been found that workers who use four or more of their signature strengths at work have more positive work experiences and report their work is a calling in their life.

In order to be qualified as a universal character strength, an attribute must display the following attributes characteristics:

(1) A strength contributes to fulfilment and to the good life.
(2) A strength is morally valued in its own right.
(3) Displaying a strength does not diminish others.
(4) Almost every parent wants their child to have the strengths.
(5) There are rituals and institutions within a society that support the strength.
(6) Each of the strengths is universal, valued by almost every religion, politics, and culture – now and in the past.

Via an article in the Journal of Positive Psychology, Martin Seligman laid out the basics of Peterson’s framework, some fundamental ideas that he left before his untimely death. In Seligman’s words:

‘The theory is Aristotlean, evoking the health of the golden mean: it claims that psychological health is the presence of the strengths and that the real disorders are the absence, the excess, or the opposite of the strengths.’

Peterson created a tableau, consisting of the 24 strengths, and 72 terms that represent the absence, excess, and opposites of each “asset”:

Source: https://positiveorgs.bus.umich.edu/news/chris-petersons-unfinished-masterwork-a-strengths-based-perspective-of-mental-illness/

To identify your Character Strengths, take the online test available on the VIA website. The test comprises 120 questions and takes about 30 minutes. After taking the test, you will get the ranking of your 24 strengths.

See also:

It’s not the first time when the Universe surprises me with a gift. An incident of syncronicity convinced me again that instead of planning everything in detail, we can just dream of a beautiful garden, prepare the soil and trust that the Universe, who knows more ways than us, helps us create one by sharing its endless resources with us.

After 2.5 year of study, a group of professional coaches and supervisors graduated from International Supervision and Coaching Institute (ISCI). I’m a partner and programme facilitator at ISCI and this year my students gave me a rhododendron as a present for graduation. I was speechless because just a few days before I had prepared the soil in my garden for a new rhododendron, which I had planned to buy. No one new about my plan. Except for the Universe 😉

It is syncronocity – a meaningful coincidense, as Carl Jung would call it?

I wrote a blog post for CV-Online about happiness (see below the English text).

In brief:

Only 10% of our long-term happiness depends on external world; 90% of our long-term happiness is how our brain processes the external world.

Optimism is crucial to the business outcomes. Optimistic sales people outsell their negative counterparts by 37%. Doctors in a positive state of mind perform diagnoses 19% faster and more accurate than doctors at neutral. Positive employees are 31% more productive than negative employees.

Thus, it’s important to take responsibility for your own optimism, happiness and well-being. Start with simple exercises that help to develop positivity. ‘Notice the positive’ is a simple exercise that can be practiced daily. More information on positive psychology can be found here.

The article in Estonian:

Ainult 10% meie pikaajalisest õnnest tööl sõltub välisest maailmast ehk sellest, mis meie ümber toimub. 90% pikaajalisest õnnest sõltub sellest, kuidas me maailma tajume ehk kuidas meie aju maailma töötleb. See tähendab, et olenemata asukohast võime ise suurendada oma õnne taset. 

Positiivsuse arendamine nõuab pingutust, sest meil on kalduvus märgata negatiivset. Samas tasub see pingutus end ära. Shawn Achor viitab uuringule, mille kohaselt oleme positiivsena 31% produktiivsemad kui negatiivses ja neutraalses seisundis. Optimistlik müügipersonal müüb 37% rohkem kui negatiivne müügimeeskond ja positiivses meeleseisundis arstid panevad diagnoose 19% kiiremini ja täpsemalt kui neutraalses seisundis arstid. 

Negatiivsed emotsioonid, nagu hirm, pettumus, häbi, usaldamatus jne väljenduvad sageli vihana ja tekitavad stressi. Stressiseisundis suureneb ajus kortisooli tase, mis pärsib tegevust nii eesajukoores kui hipokampuses. Pärsitud tegevus eesajukoores halvendab otsustamise ja tuleviku planeerimise võimet ning pärsitud tegevus hipokampuses nõrgendab lühiajalise mälu ja uute mälestuste talletamise võimet. Kõrge kortisooli tase vähendab lisaks serotoniini ehk õnnehormooni taset, mis omakorda suurendab agressiivset käitumist ja võib viia depressioonini. Seega, tasub oma heaolu ja õnne eest ohjad enda kätte haarata. 

Üks lihtne positiivsuse treenimise võimalus on positiivse märkamise harjutus, mille kirjelduse leiad siit. Paraku on nii, et igasuguste harjutuste tõeline kasu ilmneb nende pideval praktiseerimisel. Täpselt nagu hea füüsilise vormi hoidmine vajab regulaarset trenni, tuleb ka mentaalset tugevust ja positiivsust regulaarset praktiseerida, et selles vilumus saavutada. 

I wrote a short blog post for CV-Online about ‘Notice the positive’ exercise. The Estonian desciption can be found below.

In brief, the exercise is as follows:

Every day think about:

1. three things that went well that day/last week
2. why they went well

It’s important to reflect not only on the situations that went well but also on the reasons why went well, what was your own contribution to it etc. Acknowledging your own contribution is important because it helps you see how much depends on your own grit and courage to face a challenge and not give up.

It is an exercise that you can practice with alone, together with your family or together with your whole team at work.

For example, when I analyse one great event in my life – the opportunity to sing and dance at Eesti Laul Grand Final. However, was it pure luck? Why did I get the chance to perform at such a grand event? There were several steps that led to the challenging yet great situation:

1. years ago I decided to follow my heart and started to take private singing classes;
2. then I started to take part in WAF classes, where we learned singing in a small group;
3. we had six evenings of intensive practice – singing and dancing – before the grand final on 29 February in Saku Suuhall.

It was hard work for me, yet very interesting experience, where I learned a lot, laugh a lot and made many new friends.

So it wasn’t all pure luck. It was also a lot of hard work that led to the enriching situation.

POSITIIVSE MÄRKAMISE HARJUTUS

Positiivse märkamise harjutust on lihtne praktiseerida individuaalselt, aga ka pere, oma juhi või meeskonnaga koos. 

Esita kaks küsimust:

– Mis on 3 asja, mis täna hästi läks / mis hästi on?

– Miks need asjad hästi läksid?

Heade asjade märkamine on oluline ning sama väärtuslik on uurida, mis edule õnnestumisele kaasa aitas. Uuri, millega sa ise asjade käiku mõjutasid. See aitab muuhulgas suurendada usku endasse. Usku, et maailmas on palju asju, mida me ise muuta või mõjutada saame.  See teadmine aitab astuda välja ohvrirollist, kus otsime pidevalt kinnitust uskumusele, et meist ei sõltu midagi, mis omakorda muudab meid jõuetuks. Kui mõnikord tunnemegi end jõuetuna ning ei suuda näha asju, mis päeva jooksul hästi läksid, otsi häid olukordi elust laiemalt (nt ‘Ma olen terve.’, ‘Mul on töö.’ jne ) või meenuta varasemaid õnnestumisi ja helgeid hetki. Oluline on enda vastu lahke olla ka nendel hetkedel, kui negatiivsus on pimestanud ja jõu röövinud.

Iseseisvalt on neid harjutusi tore praktiseerida õhtuti enne magama minekut. Positiivsust arendavad harjutused tekitavad hea ja rahuliku tunde ning on seetõttu abiks ka unetuse puhul.

Teine võimalus on teha harjutusi koos perega. Sel juhul saavad pereliikmed aidata üksteisel uurida põhjuseid, miks asjad hästi läksid. See liidab ning aitab kogu perel ühiselt positiivset mõtteviisi treenida.

Töö kontektsis saavad meeskonnaliikmed reflekteerida nende kahe küsimuse üle kogu meeskonnaga koos. Üks võimalus on, et igaüks jagab isiklikke õnnestumisi ja teine võimalus, et meeskond uurib meeskonna ühiseid õnnestumisi ning kaardistab nende soodustajad ühiselt. Lisaks positiivsuse mõtteviisi arendamisele meeskonnas aitab see tõsta meeskonnaliikmete enesekindlust, õpetada  märkama enda ja teiste panust ning sageli ka oma töö laiemat tähendust, mis aitab tõsta meeskonna motivatsiooni.

This week I delivered a virtual class to students of Salme Põhikool (middle school) in Saaremaa. It was part of the initiative Back to School (Tagasi Kooli), which aims to teach students life skills such as communication, entrepreneurship, health, digital skills etc.

I delivered a class to 5th grade students. We focused on positive psychology and mainly on the following topics:

1. appreciation – how to appreciate and believe in oneself more (be kind to oneself and believe in oneself);
2. character strenghts – what each student is good at, what are his/her special skills and qualities;
3. noticing the positive – as we tend to notice negative things more often than positive things, we played a game of positive emotions which I will describe below.

Noticing positive emotions

I had prepared a wheel of positive emotions for the students. Each student could spin the wheel and then share with others when and where (s)he had felt the positive emotion during the past week.

You can easily create your own wheel here.